"A sad soul can kill you quicker, far quicker, than a germ"
Thought that I should share 2 videos that I love with you guys...Hope you like them too!
You have to love a guy that looks and sings like this.
You also have to love a group that looks and sings like this.
These videos make me smile..you know the silly head one the side saying "awwwwww" like a complete girl smile.
And I love it.
More NEWS (and Yamapi) for the people!
Take care guys! (^ - ^) Mata ne!
I am a girl okay. So naturally my relationship with food is slightly messed up (I don't mean to generalize to much here, but seriously I think it's pretty much true). Sometimes quite a lot messed up (yes I am aware of the grammatical incorrectness in that sentence).
You have seen my picture (well just my face but still), you know that I don't suffer from being over weight or anything like that. Over all I have a very normal looking figure, smaller than some and bigger than some (bigger than pretty much anyone if you ask my very low self esteem messed up mind).
But still, I am a girl that can really eat. I mean really. You wouldn't believe it (seriously).
And before anyone asks, no it's not like I throw up or anything (don't ever think that there's anything really wrong with me, I do not wish to be put at the same level as the people that has real problems), I just eat a lot sometimes.
You can always find a reason to allow yourself to do the things that's bad for you (in my case eat a whole bucket of ice-cream). It's Saturday, it's Friday, you've had a bad day, you've had a good day, you feel lonely, you feel loved, it's someones birthday....and so on and so on. You get the picture...right?
There's never a reason to bad for me to justify why I do this thing that I know will make me feel very bad afterwards. I mean there are times when it's just fine to eat a lot, like Christmas and your own birthday and if youn celebrate something really special, but these occasions does not come every week.
Every time I do this to myself, I tell myself that it's the last time, that after this I will be good (which also is a way to make it "okay"). But it never is.
Don't get me wrong, I am not one of those carb-nuts that says that you never can eat things that's supposedly "bad" for you. Of course you can, you have to be able to treat yourself every once in a while. As long as it really is once in a while.
Everything in moderation, that's what we like to say here in Sweden, and usually I hate that saying (it's so boring and normal and I so don't fit into that idea), but in this case I totally agree. If I could do it in moderation, I could allow myself to treat myself.
But see I am a person (as I said) that finds it hard to do things in moderation. I am over the top, and that's a part of my charm (I'd never, ever change it), but it's in this case also what makes it so hard.
I have got to stop doing this to myself, it just makes me feel bad. Very bad. And just like a bad hang-over it's not fun to wake up the day after feeling that I did something stupid and that I have to make it right (no, I am not comparing myself to people that drink to much either, it's just a good parable).
*Shit*, this post turned out very very negative. I didn't mean that, I am actually not feeling bad (this is somewhat a good day) but I guess with this subject that was inevitable. Sorry guys (if anyone had the patience to read it all that is).
Take care (^ - ^) Mata ne!
My very first university level exam is on Friday (in case you have missed that). Geeees, I must admit that I am a a little nervous. I have confidence in my own intelligence and ability to learn, but then there is that little thought that wont let go:
There's always something you don't know as well. That will be the one that she (=the teacher) asks the most important question about.
Ha ha, yeah I know. I think way to much. It's not always a good thing, but I guess I am just messed up then (I told you that, didn't I?), because it's what I do.
But as I say about most things regarding my sometimes so strange personality: It's a part of my charm (you can only love me if you get me people).
Well well...no matter how it is about that, cross your fingers for me on Friday okay.
Take care people! (^ - ^) Mata ne!
I don't very often.
Not because I am depressed or anything though, but simply because my natural expression is a slightly mad/sad/thoughtful one...
Actually I think I laugh more often than I just smile (especially when I spend time with my friend Michaela, we have a lot of fun together), if that makes any sense (does it?).
But see. I know how it's done. Good for me rigth?
Anyway...I am suppose to study (currently reading about the end of the Egyptian Empire during the 11th century B.C) so I'd better get back to that.
Take care people! (^ - ^) Mata ne!
With being smart comes certain expectations from people. You are suppose to be sensible all the time, to take care of everything the best way possible and to do something "good and intelligent" with your life. A smart person can't just be, you have to have a direction and a set goal. No way you can drift around in the world, even if you would want to.
Because you are smart person, and smart people just don't do that.
I am privileged, I know that. A lot of people around me and all over in the world struggle every single day with not being smart enough, and I am bitching about being too smart. That's messed up, don't think that I don't get that, but I guess that I am just a bit messed up then (don't say that I didn't tell you).
Ever since I was little, things has been easy for me. School's been were I fit in, the place were I know perfectly well what I am doing. The place were I'm in control. Because I am smart. It's as simple as that people, and I am not trying to brag here; just to state a very real fact that's the background for what I want to say with this post. It's this precise smartness that can be the problem.
See I am a big girl now. At least according to my mother, that doesn't get that 19 isn't the slightest bit grown up (nope, you are not having a deja vu, I have talked about this in a previous post). I love mum with all my little black heart, but she suffers from one crucial disillusion: Her child is smart, so therefore she must think of something to do with her life. Now.
That's her side. This is mine: I feel the panic rise inside me when she says things like that. Sure I am smart, but I'm also young. There's time for me to grow up. It doesn't have to be now and I just wish that she would get that. I wish that she would stop it before this escalates to a huge fight. I don't live at home anymore, and fights should never be left unsolved (which they would be if we had them over the phone).
Sure I get where she's coming from, and I know that she's doing it just because she loves me, but sometimes that doesn't help. I can't "become something" (and by become something I mean a profession) just because she says that I should. Especially not if it's something that I am not sure that I am passionate about.
After all it costs to educate yourself (well school itself is free here, but it costs to live) and those money are such that I am just borrowing from the state. I will not stand there fifteen years from now, owing the state 500.000 Swedish crowns (about 62.000 American dollars..which is a much as you are allowed to borrow, over the course of 6 years) and haveing a job that I hate. All because I am intelligent and am suppose to do something "real" with my life.
I wont. Not for anyone, not even my mother (I guess my father agrees, they're the tightest unit ever, but she's the one that does the talking). But I am not sure how to make her understand this.
*Sigh* what's a girl to do?
Oh I don't know....I'll better go back to my studies.
Take care (^ - ^) Mata ne